“My name is Bond, James Bond.” Skyfall was playing, and I was camped out on the couch, admiring Daniel Craig in his gloriously cut Tom Ford suit, when I suddenly asked myself, “Self, how old was Craig when that movie came out?” Turns out, he was 44.

Suddenly I exclaimed, “Back the Aston up! I’m only 40. I could look like that in four years!”

I want you to know how absurd this idea was. Like Craig, I had a certain rounded form. Unlike Craig, my roundness was centered more, shall we say, midship than topside. My wife occasionally jokingly asked me about my “due date.” I also wasn’t known for sticking with a gym routine. Any exercise routine, for that matter. My longest record for any level of regular exercise was, perhaps, 3 months. We’re talking magnitudes longer than what I would need to commit to in order to look as awesome as James.

But I began to tell people anyway. I heard that this is what one does when setting goals. “I’m going to look like Daniel Craig in four years,” I’d say. I’d get a few positive affirmations here and there, but mostly I got laughter, doubt, and a good dose of negativity. “Yeah, right,” was a common response. And if that wasn’t bad enough, it turns out that even nature was against me.

Research is pointing to the fact that once we pack a pooch, it is excruciatingly difficult to get rid of it. Our bodies actively fight our efforts to change. I mean, come on! Can’t a fellow get a break here?

But a funny thing has happened. A year on, not only have I kept with it, but I’ve increased my gym frequency to four days a week from three. And my stats are showing the success. 10 pounds of muscle over the last year, and a 3% drop in body fat. No one has been more surprised about this than yours truly.

How did it happen?

In 1984, the business psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini published a book called Influence. I’m in the middle of it. He introduced me to a likely reason for my unlikely success. It’s called “Commitment and Consistency”.

The general idea goes something like this: when we mentally commit to an ideal of who we are, our behavior becomes consistent with our self-image. The consistency part is central. In fact, so strong is our attachment to consistency that we typically consider someone who is inconsistent as untrustworthy.

Want a working example? How about the driver who weaves in and out of traffic. I know that I regard said person as reckless, dangerous, and best left at a distance!

Since we prize consistency so much, we can gain advantage from it. It is especially powerful given that the best applications happen when the individual feels that it was his or her own decision from the beginning, regardless of where the seed really originated. Mind you, this advantage can be both very positive and beneficial, or very negative and nefarious. So use your powers for good!

To illustrate, Dr Cialdini tells the story of American G.I.s during the Korean War. It’s estimated that nearly every POW at that time gave aid to the enemy. It was so pervasive, and particularly vexing given that this was almost unheard of during WWII, that the US military put together research about what happened. The findings were extraordinary.

The Chinese captors started small. They would ask the captured soldiers simple questions, such as, “Not everything in America is perfect, is it?” Of course the prisoner wouldn’t think anything wrong with answering this, so he’d give an affirmation. Later the captors would ask that the prisoner write down some things that weren’t perfect. Given that he had consented to the fact that there were imperfections, this next step likewise seemed innocuous, and so the soldier complied. Then the interrogators asked the prisoner to write a small essay about these negative facts. It’s not that the soldier hated the US, or even believed in communist China, but there were some issues back home. He just stated facts. He was asked to sign his name and BAM! They’ve got him!

The essay was then read over the camp loud speakers, posted on walls, broadcast to other prison camps. The soldier believed that he was responsible. After all, he was never coerced or forced into writing the essay, and it was his signature on it. His new self-image became one of enemy collaborator and he now acted consistently in it, without any pressure from the enemy.

Dr. Cialdini mentioned that this technique, in a more positive way, could be applied to our children. It was such an interesting concept that I have begun to experiment with this technique as a means to shape my own kids’ self-image and self-worth. I ask them if they are good boys or bad boys. I follow that by having them tell me traits of each. It’s effective because they conclude internally the type person they are. I’m helping them to grow into good people by helping them to recognize those traits in themselves today.

I’m reminded of the cliche, “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” Viewed through this notion of “Commitment and Consistency,” the meaning becomes clear. In reality, it has nothing to do with the clothes themselves, but rather the mindset and self-image it creates. When we have this new image of ourselves, we then start to act in a way that is consistent with it – we become that person whom we envision ourselves as.

 

Remember earlier I said that I was surprised at my fitness success? In this new context it makes perfect sense. I already had a bit of an affinity with Mr. Bond – I enjoy living well, albeit with less worry of being shot at. I’ve even jokingly told others that I want to be James Bond. It’s silly, I know. But when I committed to looking like Bond, it was a image that I created of myself, and I started to follow it with consistency. Thus my (absurd) desire to be James Bond helped me to commit to my goal of physical fitness.

I still have a ways to go. And while I’m less concerned about ever getting to Daniel Craig’s level of fitness, I know that I can achieve far more than I thought I could. If you are wondering how to apply this in your life, here are a few suggestions:

1. Write your goal down. On paper. If you need to, sign your name. There’s a ton of psychology involved here, but basically it creates that first mental shift.
2. Tell others. It’s easy to give up on goals if we’re not accountable to others. By telling someone else, we are more likely to commit so we don’t let the other person down.
3. Build on your goal over time. Don’t boil the ocean. Make a small change and then allow that to grow. Next thing you know, you’re wearing smoking jackets and drinking martinis after work!

Do you have a great story about a goal you were successful at? I’d love to hear about it, and the steps you took in achieving it! Leave a comment, or drop me an email at daniel at danielkonopacki dot com.